Part One (2014)
On March 29 in 2014 I was fretting about what I was going to wear to a party I had been invited to by my then boyfriend, but also I was fretting about how I was going to wear my hair – up or down? Wait, what? I’m not the type to fret over my looks, but on this day…going to this party, well, I knew everything had to be special.
I knew in many ways it was my coming out party. No, it wasn’t my quinceañera. Nor was it my bat mitzvah. Nope, it wasn’t even my prom. (Who am I kidding anyway, I’m not that young!) Nope, this was my coming out party to every single important person in my boyfriend’s life at that time…his friends from college, from work, from athletics, from partying…his neighbors and close acquaintances alike. Really, when I say every important person. I mean every important person. He may have invited close to 100 people to his housewarming party. All to celebrate his first home purchase with his daughter.
We had been seeing one another for a few months by the time of the party. Our relationship had grown deeper by the day. We were invested in spending time together and seeing where things might go between us, but we had made no formal commitment to one another. We certainly hadn’t introduced either to our friends or family by this time. So, K had a choice to make. A choice that would ultimately set the stage for the rest of our journey together.
- Don’t invite me.
- Invite me.
If he chose not to invite me, what would his decision say to me once I learned about the party? While it wasn’t imperative to meet his friends at that time, the fact that he was going to invite all the important people in his life to celebrate together, would it mean that I wasn’t important?
However, if he did invite me, what would his decision say to me about the state of our relationship? Were things moving too fast? Too slow? Meeting all his friends at once was a big move! We weren’t even calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend by then. If I was at the party, it would mean he was relaying to everyone that he in fact had a “girlfriend”. More importantly, he would be saying that she mattered.
Phew, big decision to make on his part. After weighing it all out he chose to invite me. And…
Spoiler alert: It worked out!
I loved his friends. His friends loved me. The party was incredibly fun and even carried into the night. The evening had everything we love about getting together with friends to this day – raucous laughter, endless conversations, socializing, intimate talks, development of new friendships and new learnings about one another, and even a little debauch. We still talk about the housewarming party today!
Part Two (2015)
Email exchange between the Kaptain and Hurricane
– (Hurricane – March 29, 2015)
One year ago today I was living solo with my daughter in an apartment I loved dearly for what it meant to me, despite it’s obvious faults. One year ago today I took a chance on life and drove over to the West side of town, not knowing what to expect when I landed on the steps of your new condo to meet ALL of your friends – from athletics, from your office, from raving, from college, from modeling, all of them who came to celebrate the next chapter of your and your daughter’s lives with you.
While I was super excited by your invitation attend the party I did wonder what it meant for us. I didn’t know at the time that it was going to be one of the best nights of my life. The night of your housewarming cemented in my mind the kind of person you were, and the kind I know you to be. We are a reflection of those dearest to us. Your circle of friends is vast, but my…how each one of them, individually, and as a collective, personify who you are as a human being. Everyone cares for you, baby. You are one of the most special people I’ve ever met and I know I will ever meet. Seeing you in your element that night, circulating, talking, laughing, loving with all your friends made me swoon. Because, although this was the first time I was meeting everyone, I align myself in the same ways to the people in my life, and now, the people in our lives.
We feed off of relationships; we feed off of people. I knew after that night I never wanted to be apart from you. I still wanted our relationship to continue in a simple flow, as it had until this night. I knew though there was something about you undeniably magnificent. I had and still do, so much attraction to you. Seeing you, I can now say how much you are like your mother. She was a shining star; a woman who had people all around this world, far and wide who gravitated to her, to be near her, to be touched by her charisma and charm. This is how they feel about you, and how I feel about you. When you are not around I feel an emptiness deep inside me. When you are near, I’m content and satisfied in way I still have trouble describing.
Just like what I wrote about your mom, I hold true about you too.
You know the secret dance of life, my love.
So, as I think back to one year ago today, vividly recollecting us meandering to and fro about the with all your dear friends, loving, laughing, and connecting, what I feel right now on this day, one year later, is blessed. When I think of you, and I think about the life we are creating together with our children…I am blessed.
I love you with all my heart and soul. Happy Red Letter Day, baby.
– (The Kaptain on April 21, 2015)
Going to wrap up my email tonight by belatedly responding to this incredible note from you.
I’ve read it. Re-read it. Nearly half-dozen times. I tear up every time I do. Thinking about how a little over a year ago, you came into every sphere of my life. And here we are in 2015, fully integrating you and your daughter into me and my daughter’s lives. Who could have dared imagine it?
You have changed everything I thought love, passion, friendship, trust and empathy could be. You bring out the best in me…and when I’m not my best, you make me want to try even harder.
Everything I see in the world is through a new lens. A brighter lens. More loving, hopeful, compassionate. I am the best version of me when you are close to my heart, baby.
I love you so much. And as great as it is, the best is still ahead of us together and as individuals.
Yes,…we are blessed.
I love you.
Part Three (2019)
Here we are now, March 29, 2019. Five years later from the original date of the housewarming party. While we are in part three of this blog post, really, we are just now writing chapter two of the book on our lives. Two and a half years after the housewarming party we were married and during all of our time together we have both created and lived incredibly full lives. The pages are turning once more, for on this day, (mind you, of all days in the calendar year) we closed on a new home. The date choice, unplanned, but exactly what it needed to be.
We just bought a house together.
We’re moving to the mountains together.
Our family, bonded in life and in love are paving the way towards our future together.
Red Letter Day? Nah, it’s our Red Letter Life.